YOU HAVE TO QUAGMIRE SOME PEOPLE.

YOU HAVE TO QUAGMIRE SOME PEOPLE.

Masochists have taken to the great outdoors.

Whatever the weather, they’re out on The Moors.

The bogs they need are nowhere at hand

But there’s bogs they can’t flush: Pennine quicksand.

Boneless brown jelly – Oh, concrete it over.

Protect the hapless hill walker and rover.

There’s only one safe path by which to get past:

You walk on the heads of those who sank last.

Mae West and wellies to be worn at all times

And Bondi Beach lifeguards to patrol the Pennines.

Written in a single draft a few days after falling flat on my face in a Pennine Way peat bog near Blackstone Edge.

Arthur Chappell

Coach Excursion – Portmeirion North Wales 12th August 2022

From my childhood viewing of Patrick McGoohan The Prisoner TV series, I always wanted to visit the show’s main location, Portmeirion. 

The Hotel Portmeirion

The village (The un-named Village of the series) was purposely built as a tourist attraction centred on its main hotel, The Hotel Portmeirion, and much of the Village is privately owned, so an admission fee is charged on top of travel costs to get there. 

Sir Clough-William Ellis built the Italian Villa style village gradually between 1925 and 1978.  There is a great deal more to see than the locations used in the 17 episodes of The Prisoner.  The village has many brightly coloured houses, often set into the cliffs (the village can be an awkward place for wheelchair access). There are numerous grottos, alcoves, follies, viewing points over the estuary, (which has quicksands and proves dangerous at high tides). Shops, cafes, ice cream parlours and bars abound.  Several high powered sports cars were on display and driving round the village too.

Classy cars

There are several woodland trails round the village, which I hope to cover as and when I go back, as I certainly hope to.  Highlights include seeing the giant Buddha statue, (a prop used and abandoned near Portmeirion after filming the Ingrid Bergman movie, The Inn Of The Sixth Happiness);

The Inn Of The 6th Happiness Buddha

the concrete boat, Amis Reunis (Friends Reunited) built onto the coastal cliff overlooking the water in full sized fishing boat shape, with added masts, rigging, etc, and seeing numerous locations and angles associated with the TV series. 

Concrete Boat

Patrick McGoohan is commemorated with busts and plaques, as is Sir Clough-William Ellis. Others who visited the village have included Noel Coward, Ingrid Bergman, Gregory Peck, Brian Epstein, George Harrison, Paul McCartney (though not the other two Beatles).

Patrick McGoohan bust

Jools Holland. Iron Maiden and XTC have shot homaging videos to The Prisoner in the village (Village), or using footage of the Village and the TV series. 

Quicksand warning sign

The blazing heat was rough on my visit, though my admission fee was double reduced for getting both a coach party discount and my first official over 60’s price reduction too.  I was beginning to worry if my plastic stoma bag might melt on me but that was unlikely and it behaved itself well. 

It was so hot that the iron handrails on some winding stairways were superheated and near impossible to get hold of or touch.  I was quite envious of hotel residential guests who got to use the pool. 

Hotel pool

The main hotel is a beautiful Edwardian looking villa, serving bottled ales with a Prisoner theme. As the show gave characters numbers rather than names the beers are Portmeirion 1, 2, 6 and 12. (McGoohan’s doppelganger in The Schizoid Man episode of the show). I had the 6 (Stout numbered after McGoohan;s character) which was excellent. Bought the others in take-away bottles for consumption at home. 

Prisoner theme beer, glass and bottle

The big mystery after my visit is why Number 6 was so obsessed with escaping as the village is delightful. I’d be happy to declare why I resigned as a spy, accept my number, sell out my country to dubious organizations, and settle down to play chess and enjoy the ambience here. 

Portmeirion

Thanks to Walton’s Coaches, the passengers and the people I met in Portmeirion.   As I hope to return, I’ll end with the obvious quotation from many episodes, ‘Be seeing you.’ 

Be Seeing You

Youtubes 

XTC – The Man Who Sailed Around His Soul https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x3qbUy6e11Q 

Iron Maiden – The Prisoner https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SyazYfSW2Yk 

All photos taken by me.

Arthur Chappell