Poem – Der!
Written for World Poetry Day – March 21st 2024
So Girls are not made of sugar and spice or all things nice
And Boys do not consist of snakes, snails or puppy dog tails
As mum and dad always said to me, but now I have it on good advice
That making such claims in my exams mean I will fail
To get my university degree,
Or I would if I didn’t have a bursary.
College funding could get withdrawn
If my essays continue to be treated with derision and scorn
My graduation is assured and guaranteed
My parents control the money the universities need.
Despite this my tyrant tutor says I should have taken a look
Through various biology and medical text books
Into some of which I have now taken a bit of a gander
Not only realizing I was fed fake news and propaganda
During my upbringing.
My guts are actually quite complicated
Intestines and colons sound really minging.
I still don’t get how all those bits are integrated and related
But it does sound more realistic than Alsatians
Chasing snails round under my skin.
Lungs seem better than panting dalmatians
How much other crap has my head taken in?
I can’t believe I thought women were literally sugar.
Why did they never dissolve in the rain?
Was I always such a stupid little bugger
How much other nonsense is there in my brain?
Next I’ll find out the Earth’s not flat
And that I shouldn’t be wearing a MAGA-Hat.
If others have swallowed similar crap without question
We need it campaigning on in the coming election.
Weighing up the candidates expected to be selected
I’m voting Trump again – he’ll put this right when he gets re-elected.
I don’t know much but I do know that.
See, I’m not that much of a stupid twat!
Arthur Chappell
My First Wordpress Blog 