17 new ales tried this month, with a visit to Manchester and a weekend in Chesterfield in Derbyshire too.
Castle Rock Brewery – Screech Owl 5.5% ***** A strong Indian pale ale with a distinct crisp hoppiness. Not surprisingly an award winning ale. Real Ale – Bar Fringe, Manchester
Everards Tiger beer clip
Everard’s Tiger 4.3% Classic session ale I haven’t seen in years so my first chance to review it, malty,as well as hoppy, with a sweet finish to its bitterness. Well worth the reunion. Real Ale. The Chesterfield Arms Chesterfield
Frome – Funky Monkey 4% **** Described as a ‘not quite’ pale ale, possibly due to the dash of citrus juice that stops this being a classic benchmark traditional bitter. Still good but it might have been awesome without the add-on flavour twist. Real Ale – The Black Horse, Preston.
Front Row Brewing – Pause 4.5% ***** A truly exceptional chocolate stout like having a Gueness and a bar of Bournville at the same time. Real ale The Chesterfield Ale House microbar
Kirby Lonsdale – 1822 Best Bitter 4.3% ***** A beer brewed with a mission, as money raised by its purchase is going to a group helping to save Ruskin’s View, an area of natural beaty near the Kirby Lonsdale Brewery, and painted by J W W Turner, and highly praised by art critic John Ruskin. The beer itself is a classic bitter, copper coloured and very pleasant. Real ale – Vinyl Tap, Preston
Little Critters – White Wolf 5% ***** A strong award winning golden ale that is deserving of the accolades bestowed upon it, cloudy, hazy and easy to mistake for a hoppy session ale. Teal Ale. The Market pub, Chesterfield
Pub sign for The Market Pub – Chesterfield
Magic Rock Brewing Co – Saucery 3.9% ***** Session strength craft beer with a distinct crisp bitter edge that really grips like a much stronger ale might. Canned craft beer – Jazzin The Park Music Festival – Friends If Winckley Square drinks pop up bar – Preston.
Neepsend Blonde 4% **** Pretty basic trad ale with a citrus dash flavouring and a dry finish. Nothing wrong with it but nothing great either. Real Ale. The Rutland Chesterfield
New Ridge – Big Lizzie -5% ***** A very rich ruby mild that is pretty well perfect. Real Ale – Bar Fringe, Manchester
Pig And Porter – Albedo 4.8% **** A confusing brewery name that gives the impression that all their beers are porters, while the Albedo is actually an American Pale Ale, and a fine example of one at that. Real ale – Vinyl Tap, Preston
Red Willow – CSI Macclesfield 4.5% **** Terrific silly name, and a decent beer unspoilt by being served in a bendy plastic glass at an open air event I attended. Nice dry hoppy finish. Real ale – Open air concert pop up bar. Chesterfield Real ale
CSI Macclesfield beer clip
Red Willow – Wreckless 4.8% ***** Hoppy, (packed with Amarillo hops) and given a fruit citrus edge as well, for a fine high session strength ale.
Rooster’s Brewing – Variation On A Theme – Jester – 4.3% *** Oddly named. Impressive English Pale ale – citrussy, supposedly with grapefruit though fortunately I never detected that. Real Ale – Bar Fringe, Manchester
Smoke Brewery Double Ten IPA – ?% ***** Full bodied IPA with a darts theme to its bar clip. Real Ale – The Hidden Knight Chesterfield
Sign for The Hidden Knight pub – Chesterfield
Thornbridge – The Market Porter 4.5% ***** A very tasty session ale strength smoky porter that really stands out. Real ale – Pig And Porter Chesterfield
Unicorn (Robinson’s) – Hopp 4.3% **** Robinson’s are rebranding many of their beers to the brewery name (Unicorn). Among them is Hopp, a pale ale that is as hopp-y as its name promises, ultra-traditional but with no distinguishing identifying factors or features. Real Ale – The Black Horse – Preston.
Beer Glass – The Chesterfield Arms
Wilde Child – Escape From L A ***** Golden session ale with a very tangy orangy citrus finish. Real ale – Vinyl Tap, Preston.
I travelled from Preston Lancashire to Chesterfield in Derbyshire for the 31st AGM of the Inn Sign Society, an organization for pub and inn sign collectors, of which I am proud to be a member.
The Crooked Spire Of St Mary’s And All Saints – Chesterfield
I could have just gone to the meeting and come straight home but I decided to make a weekend of it to explore Chesterfield, get the pub signs there, and take in its other attractions and sights too. I was far from disappointed.
With none of the train strikes that turned the previous year’s AGM trip (to Stratford On Avon, staying a living Hell Air-B & B in Coventry) this trip went remarkably smoothly. I got a train easily (changing services in my old home city, Manchester) and got to Chesterfield about 12.30 pm.
I had about two and half hours to kill before my hotel check in, but my suitcase moved easily on casters, and I was travelling fairly light for once. The weather remained lovely all weekend.
The Crooked Spire Of St Mary’s And All Saints – Chesterfield
The first thing I discover was that Chesterfield is a town where it is virtually impossible to get lost. The famous ‘crooked spire’ of Saint Mary’s is such a striking central landmark that everything radiates out round it and navigating round the town is absurdly easy.
Winding Wheel Theatre – Chesterfield
I headed towards the spire, and took photos of several of the near 50 pubs I knew to exist in the town as I went, though many lack true inn signs. I also walked right by the Winding Wheel Theatre, (a former Odeon cinema used as a theatre and conference space) which was the venue for the AGM within ten minutes of getting off the train.
Resting Devil sign – Chesterfield Arms
The origins of the twisting of the spire are unknown, and appear to be unintentional. It dates from 1362, and some indications are that it was too heavy, over-dependent on lead and warped by sunlight when being constructed by too few craftsmen, (labour was short at the time due to the ravages of the Black Death). Local legend has it that the Devil, or one of his lesser demons was flying over Derbyshire and needed to take a rest. Landing on the spire, he realised that the holiness was burning into him and that he had inadvertently landed on a church. He tried to fly off, but tangled his long tail round the spire,crushing and warping it into its twisted pattern as it escaped.
A pub, The Chesterfield Arms has its own Brewhouse called The Resting Devil in commemoration of the legend. The town’s heraldic achievement, (the coat of arms), has the motto, ‘Aspire’, a lovely pun on The Spire which the town is justifiably extremely proud of.
Heraldic Achievement for Chesterfield
Other claims to fame include the praised England goal-keeper Gordon Banks playing for Chesterfield, and being the hometown of George Stephenson, whose statue stands proudly in the railway station entrance.
Statue of George Stephenson And The Rocket – Chesterfield Railway Station
As my hotel check in time arrived I headed to the Ibis, which again, proved easy to locate, though the roads immediately approaching the entrance are extremely dangerous to pedestrians.
Checking in was swift and easy. They were happy to give me a ground floor room, which was great given my disabilities. Breakfast would cost a little extra but knowing there was a lunch available at the AGM is skipped that. My room was fine, and very large.
Sculpture, Ibis Hotel grounds – Chesterfield
With a few society friends aso staying at the hotel, I arranged to meet with them in the evening (after more touring activity) and planned on having a few beers and a meal at The Riverside Inn. Though the food there looked nice we were very disappointed by the very poor selections of drinks so after chatting for a while we each headed off to our own adventures.
Band at open air concert – Chesterfield
My journey led me to the main town market area where a large free open air Summer concert was going on (nothing on the scale of the Glastonbury Festival running parallel to my weekend. As well as some fun bands and a very chill family friendly atmosphere, there were several open air beer stalls and street food traders. Some food stalls drew queues stretching to infinity, but I got a very nice burger served with jalapenos, and a pint amusingly called CSI Macclesfield.
CSI Macclesfield Beer Clip, pop up bar – Chesterfield
After this I explored a few more bars. Only The Market Pub proved disappointing as at that time I only had my bank card to make payments with and the pub had a strict cash only policy (unannounced until my pint was actually served). After a few other pub calls I wrapped up the night in The Pig & Pump, a very relaxed friendly bar providing great live entertainment. Singer Adam McCulloch seemed able to turn his hand to just about any song requested by the audience, which was pretty impressive.
Pub sign – The Market Pub – Chesterfield
Saturday 24th – AGM Day, so I did a little photo walk activity and headed to the Winding Wheel. We had a very spacious room for the nicely prepared and chillaxed meeting, with tea, coffee and biscuits for early arrivals) and a room approached and left via a rather deadly step that tripped a few of us up and could do with a little ramp or slope.
New Inn Sign Society logo
The meeting itself went quickly, including a moving moment of silence for a few members who have died since the 2022 event, a look at the Society’s new logo, a much deserved presentation to committee member Iain Perks for his exceptional work for the society, and all followed by a fabulous buffet, chance to chat with like-minded folk, and even a chance for me to sign copies of my own pub sign book. A few free books were also offered, and I got some to aid my own ongoing research.
Cover to my book, Watch The Signs! Watch The Signs!
Post meeting, I pursued more pub signs and visited several more bars over the evening.
The Neptune Ale Emporium sign – Chesterfield
Sunday 25th – I simply got up, finished packing, checked out of the hotel and headed for my train, only to find I had over an hour to wait for the first service out. I just sat with a book to pass the time.
Changing trains in Manchester, I found most of the platform seating was full, before seeing one chap had claimed a bench to himself and cluttered the rest of it with his luggage. I asked him if he could move some and let me sit down., He swore at me but threw his main bag on the ground and I was actually sadistically pleased to hear the crunching noises as something in it broke on him. Serves him right.
Sign for The Hidden Knight (HK) – Chesterfield
The second train, and my bus home from Preston City Centre ran smoothly and I was home for about 1 PM.
My thanks to everyone in the Inn Sign Society, the staff of the Ibis,the many lovely people I met on my meanders round Chesterfield, and its bars too.
All photos taken by me
Arthur Chappell.
Links
Chesterfield pubs Visited And Reviewed (those I went in for a beer)
On Sunday 21st November 2021 Less than a week after returning from a week long stay in Buxton in the White Peaks region of Derbyshire I went on a day trip coach excursion to neighbouring village, Bakewell, noted for its tarts and puddings., (though I hadn’t heard of the latter until now).
The Walton’s coach trip was pleasant, lasting about two hours and as the driver predicted we would get to Bakewell at about 11.40 am, but as we arrived it was obvious how crowded the village was, as traffic slowed to a crawl and it took forty minutes to reach the coach park by the animal pens (currently empty) used in farmer’s markets.
Farmer’s Market Paddocks, Bakewell, Derbyshire – Taken by me
The footpaths and pavements were often as gridocked as the roads as Christmas markets drew in scores of tourists. Many stalls and shops had huge queues. I planned to visit each of the village’s eight bars, having a half in each in turn but three were filled to capacity and couldn’t admit any more customers. The Rutland Hotel was one I missed out on, well known after featuring in an episode of The Hotel Inspector reality TV shows. There is no sign as such for the hotel – pub but its Tuscan portico, designed in the Georgian era by White Watson, is quite striking. The famous pudding was apparently accidentally invented here.
The Rutland Hotel Portico – Bakewell, Derbyshire – Taken by me
My favourite bar was the most recently opened, the Joiner’s Arms micro bar, with very comfy seating, dog friendly ambiance and a great selection of ales.
The Joiners Arms pub sign – Bakewell, Derbyshire – Taken by me
The Queen’s Arms was crowded but efficiently run, but served its ale only in plastic glasses.
The Queen’s Arms pub sign Bakewell, Derbyshire – Taken by me
The Peacock staff were a little standoffish, only telling me there were no seats after they had served me. Fortunately their beer garden had a few seats left, though it was freezing as the temperature dropped.
I bought some of the famous Bakewell pudding, which is delicious, lacking the icing that comes with the tarts, it is a very nice mildly syrupy pastry.
There were lots of street entertainers around including Morris Dancers. I spotted Disney characters trying to get back in their cars. The Mickey Mouse kept banging his head on the edge of the door of his little car as he didn’t want to break out of character with kids watching him struggling to get in. Sadly it wasn’t a Mini or there would have been obvious room for potentially rude Minnie Mouse jokes.
Funnier was the lady dressed as Elsa from Frozen chasing after her little dog that had run off from her. Someone yelled ‘Let It Go, Elsa’ and burst into a few lines from the Let It Go song. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=moSFlvxnbgk
The coach set off about 4.30pm and got me home to Preston for about 6.45pm.
At the Novacon 50 Science Fiction Convention, in Buxton, Derbyshire, there was a fabulous beer tasting event where attendees could bring in three beers, or pay a modest admission fee and enjoy any beer on the tables over the evening for free. I got to try several great ales.
Beer taken by me (Not all beers photographed are those featured in the article)
One novelty I have not seen before was that many found the slightly rippled and mottled designs of some cans fascinating enough to pass them round for stroking in admiration. ‘Feel my beer’ was becoming a catch-phrase for the age.
Preston Priestown Strike 1842 – taken by me
I took along three beers (two of one plus another). I didn’t drink these at the tasting as I see them often in Preston bars and shops. The beers were both brewed by microbrewers, Priesttown, (Preston means Town Of The Priests or Priest’s Town, as it was founded by Catholic monks).
Beer taken by me
Priestown – Strike 1842 (4.8% ABV) ***** , named after a brutally suppressed Prestonian strike in that very year, is a dark, cloudy, malty ale bordering on Stout and on the cusp between session ales and strong ales. I hope those who sampled this enjoyed it.
Priestown – PR2 IPA was my other contribution, 6.3% ***** A Beer named after its own Preston postcode, and a very strong fruity highly hopped bitter with a great aroma. A beer to treat with respect.
The Beers I had at the beer tasting, in order.
1/. Williams Brothers Of Scotland – Iconyc – American Style IPA 5% ***** A fizzy and strong craft ale, with a hint of citrus and hops.
Beer taken by me
2/. Founders Baton – Stout About It – Vanilla Stout 5.2% ***** Lots of vanilla pods giving a sense of beer flavoured ice cream (cornets are pictured on the tin), and very sweet for a bitter. This was one of the beers with a nicely textured can.
3/. Siren – Lumina 4.2% – *****A light brown session ale, smooth with subtle citrusy hoppiness.
4/. Purity – Best Bitter – **** One of the few ales brought in for serving from the case rather than served in tins or bottles. Nice ruby colour, and a light crispy taste.
5/. The Belgian Brewer – Cherry 7.5% ***** The strongest beer I’d quaff all through my journey, potent, full of the fruitiness promised in the name.
6/. Cairngorm Black Gold 4.9% ***** My final tipple of the convention, a milk stout brewed with barley rather than hops so as early and traditional in style as you can get. A decent session ale, paradoxically smooth and fizzy and tasting much stronger than it actually is. Award winning Scottish ale that bridges the dimensional gap between mild and stout, to give a terrific double taste effect. To top it all, they add licorice and blackcurrant into the mix. Extra-ordinary
Beer taken by me
Other Ales Enjoyed.
I made the most of the days leading to Novacon by exploring Buxton on Wednesday (10th November) and Sheffield on Thursday 11th November. Here are some of the beers enjoyed on the field trips.
Abbeydale – Daily Bread 3.5% ABV *** A rather uninspiring insipidly bland ale despite its promised hoppiness. A nice copper colouring but lacking in much taste. Consumed in The Globe, Sheffield.
Nailmaker – Chocolate Stout 5% ABV ***** Terrific ale that lives up to its name, deeply dark ale, smooth tasting, and chocolaty without tasting like concentrated cocoa powder. Tasted in The Old Queen’s Head, Sheffield.
My beer glassware taken by me
Titanic – Steerage 3.6% *** Light golden coloured session ale, modest but not particularly great taste. Titanic are capable of much better. Tasted in The Cheshire Cheese – Buxton.
Buxton Brewery – Buxton Brewery Ale – 4% **** Hoppy Session Ale strength pale golden ale with the taste of a wheatbeer. Tasted in The Buxton Brewery Tap
Buxton Brewery – Buxton Blonde ***** Golden session ale, modest fine quality traditional taste. Tasted in The Buxton Brewery Tap.
Buxton Brewery – Run Out DDH (Deep Dried Hops). 5.2% ***** The dryness is tangible, and the taste is crisp, though sadly just out of Session Ale range. Tasted in The Buxton Brewery Tap
Aldwark Artisan Ales – Frankenstein Porter 5.4% ***** The Convention real ale bar’s most popular ale, both in name and taste, a real treat and I’m always a sucker for a decent porter.
Aldwark Artisan Ales – Aldwark IPA 4.8% Closer to session ale status, another fine, and hoppy ale overshadowed by the success of the Frankenstein.
Aldwark Artisan Ales – Elixir Gold 3.9% ***** The lightest of the Matlock microbrewery ales on offer but a fine golden trad beer in itself.
Joseph Holt’s BITTER ***** Manchester’s cheapest pub treat of an ale – an acquired taste I easily acquired
Joseph Holt’s – TWO HOOTS ***** The best of the Holts’s ales, essentially the bitter with a little more oomf.
The Novacon 50 Science Fiction Convention Day 3 – The Palace Hotel, Buxton, Derbyshire
This was the last day of the three day programme of Novacon events, and quite a lot was going on, culminating in the polar opposites of the brilliant Beer Tasting and the disastrous banquet events.
Christopher Priest book cover, taken by me
Post breakfast, where I sat chatting with the delightful Christopher Priest, my choice of first event was a talk with leading author, Guest Of Honour – Christopher Priest. The writer of The Prestige (filmed with Christian Bale, Hugh Jackman and David Bowie), it is his wonderfully poetic Dream Archipelago novels that move me most of all. Here he talked cheerfully of serving as ghost writer to astronauts and sport-stars, the long wait for royalties that can often take years to filter through to the authors, his status in the New Wave of the 1960’s and his ongoing career. I got some of his books signed and helped take photos of some attendees proudly standing by his side on their cameras and phones. One of the nicest guests I ever met at a convention.
Apocalypse Or Tomorrowland? – The next panel was essentially concerned with pessimism and optimism for the future. With global warming and a sense of the failure of the Glasgow based climate change works in which we are doomed seemed to dominate the panel’s outlook. The future of flying cars and personalized jetpacks seemed not only less likely, but itself a disaster in the making if it came about as there would be so many mid-air collisions.
Non-Con attendee, zombie Apocalypse Morganna Btamah, photo taken by me
I asked if readers of disaster scenario books and viewers of movies about the end of civilization as we know it might try using their memory or even the actual texts as prophetic survival manuals. A recent comedy TV series called Zomboat has characters making their strategies for beating the undead up from what they have learned in video games and from watching George R Romero movies.
For me post-apocalypse is a contradiction in terms. In truly apocalyptic works like OnThe Beach or Earth Abides there are no human survivors. While in post-apoc works like No Blade Of Grass, and even The Walking Deads, there is a sense of where there is life, no matter how bleak, there is hope for a long term recovery for humanity.
With global warming, we need to act now or what could be post-apoc in a few generations might yet be full on apoc.
Beer, taken by me
Scrabble – One of my dear friends, Eira noticed that the con’s games room supplies included a Scrabble set, and invited me to join her in a game, along with Tim and later, Elaine. It was great fun, played with beer in hand, helping to take my mind off some of the stress I was feeling from the stoma crisis – room lock out conflict the day before and though I got lots of great words, ie, Diva, I was tending to open the game up to give the more strategic players with cool vocabularies, easy access to the double and triple word squares.
Handover Ceremony
This was a weekend closing ceremony and a promotion for representatives and bidders for forthcoming conventions, and a chance to thank guests of honour (Christopher Priest, Clair Short and Fanghorn). I was a little disheartened to hear comments from the stage that though there had been complaints about aspects of the hotel they were regarded as minor matters. My own complaint that I had been unable to access my room due to a faulty door lock, during an exploding stoma medical emergency, was suppressed as I tried to give the details to a senior committee member. I was out of sight – out of mind until my reports here and formal complaints have hopefully drawn my concerns back from the shadows.
Scrabble – We finished our final game on the board that was left in place during the handover event, and headed out to the really good beer tasting and catastrophic banquet events, covered separately.
Where Are The Competent Adults? The next event I attended had a frightfully ironic title given how my morning had panned out. My stoma crisis had run right through the Guest of honour Fanghorn (writer and illustrator) event I’d hoped to attend.
Statue in the Palace Hotel Entrance Way – taken by me
This panel reasoned that with many heroes being seen as brave, resourceful, dependable children and youngsters in an unsympathetic or hostile adult world, were wise, responsible adult protagonists in decline? Heroes like Harry Potter, Buffy The Vampire Slayer, Lyta (His Dark Materials), dominate the genre for many. Young Adult (YA) literature seems to take up much of the market, so much of the discussion and accompanying Q & A, explored this subject. Heroes of an older age cited included Stephen Donaldson’s Thomas Covenant, though he was seen as somewhat incompetent, with his wild unbelieving stance often generating the destructive forces he would face in consequence later on in his struggles with Lord Foul (a manifestation of his own struggle with leprosy). Other older heroes sprang to mind during and after this lively presentation; Batman, Judge Dredd, Dan McGriz (The Stainless Steel Rat), various Alfred Bester characters, etc. It seems the young do not have all the fun.
Elsewhen Book launch – A great launch for many attending writers from this publisher, some of them promoting books who’s sales were stalled by the Covid shutdown. Free wine was available for those attending this.
Poetry Open Mic – Right after the launch, in the same Off Piste room, I took part in the poetry circle of readings by about a dozen great poets, and one chap who sang songs and recited monologues. It was a very warm, friendly event.
Me performing poetry – not at Novacon
One of my own contributions was a poem written without using the Letter E (which reappears in the closing lines). By an amazing coincidence, another writer revealed that she had also penned a poem in which the same letter was not used, and performed it. We each felt the other’s work was the best.
There was an exclusive screening of the fan film, The Stooge, inspired by a short story by Guest of honour, Christopher Priest. The film had a prestigious cast including Roberto Picardo, (The holographic Doctor in Star Trek Voyager), and it was an exceptional, beautifully filmed piece of surrealism worthy of multiple viewings. The closing lounge song alone was amazing.
Ian Sorensen plays are often a con highlight, usually involving deliberately awful puns and jokes about fans, fandom and conventions. This event’s podcast styled play was themed as a parody of a series of works that are themselves humorous science fiction masterworks, The Hitchhikers Guide To The Galaxy books of Douglas Adams.
The four players (one only in virtual form as she was unable to attend), worked valianty with the material, but it was not among Sorensen’s best. Some gags just fell flat and at times it looked under-prepared. Making Boris Johnson the antagonist made too many aware of a political world we were at the con to escape from, a gatecrasher in our apolitical weekend utopian oasis.
The night ended in the bar, no surprises there, though the early finish saw me, like many attendees in bed way before pumpkin hour, after a day that had not been without its troubles to put it mildly.
After breakfast I went to the first of many programme events. Some were taking place on the main stage and others were fringe activities described as ‘off peaste’ in the programme. My first was one of these, an activity attendees had to sign up for before hand.
The Palace Hotel, Buxton, – taken by me
It was Miles Newton’s Writing Workshop, actually a very well planned out and presented discussion forum on writing about LGBTQ characters and situations.
For many writers this feels like a nightmare area, as there is a feeling that a single misplaced word might be interpreted as negative or offensive, and trigger conflict and criticism. My own work touches on such issues as and when relevant to the narrative. In many of my poems and stories it simply isn’t an issue though I can feel even then that my work might be seen as safe and shallow for not taking on stronger social concerns.
We touched on identifiers, and how we might prefer to be addressed. Mine was Him / He.
Areas to avoid were mostly related to tokenism, where characters are added as LGBTQ simply to be seen ticking boxes by the author, and as I suggested, stories where the hero has a ‘gay’ sidekick to make the main protagonist seem cool, saving the companion whenever the ‘gay’ character gets into troube, ie, saving them from a homophobic lynching.
Writers are encouraged to write about what we know, so where we are dealing with issues outside our experiences it can feel forced and unrealistic. Elsewhere, the LGBTQ character may be read or mis-read as an autobiographical avatar for the author.
Miles guided us through a well set out list of observations. Many of us were disheartened by how J K Rowling has so openly attacked the transgender community.
Towards the close of the workshop I was beginning to get uncomfortable, but not in any way related to the discussion or issues we were covering with remarkable candidness. My stoma was suddenly filling at an accelerated rate. I was debating slipping away to change it but I didn’t want Miles or the attendees thinking I might be taking any umbrage with them or what we were now talking about. As we were almost at the end I felt confident that I could reach my room and change the stoma before anything horrible happened.
Fresh Stoma bag – taken by me
Stoma Crisis – Little did I know how The Palace Hotel itself would render my problem a real embarrassing and deeply stressful emergency. I got to my room to find my electronic key failing to open the door. The lock was flashing red lights at me (suggesting already that this was more than a need to recharge the key).
I had to wait at the desk, with my bag now starting to leak on my stomach under my clothes, while other customers checked in, out and presented queries. Despite my saying I didn’t think the recharged key would work, I was told to try it. Another ride in a slow lift now, and my belly was feeling very sticky. As I expected, the key proved useless once more.
I returned to the desk. A rather surly attendant who would clearly rather have done something else, accompanied me back to the door, tried my key for herself with a ‘this is how it works’ tone as if I’d misused it, only to find ‘surprise surprise’ that it still failed.
By now I could see my tee shirt visibly starting to stain, and feel the contents of my bag on my upper thighs. Telling me to wait the attendant flounced off leaving me by the door for some time. I asked a passing con member to remind the staff to get me in my room, without going into any details on what I was now feeling deeply embarrassed and rather frightened about.
It took a further ten minutes for the attendant to return with an engineer who retried the key which continued to fail and then disassembled much of the base of the locking mechanism. I later learned that he had had to change its batteries which I was told in response to my written complaints had fallen loose because the door had been closed. That every door in any hotel was closed, opened and closed all year long without such a catastrophe was irrelevant to the staff. While they might try to pass this off as a unique unlikely set of perfect storm circumstances coming together it could happen again especially in The Palace with its Laisses Faire sort it when it happens stance on maintenance and supply problems and safety issues. Several others reported malfunctioning keys. Mine would break down again later in the week too. What if someone was stuck in a room having a stroke or a fall or some other immediate medical emergency, no one from their partners, hotel staff or paramedics could get to them easily and potentially save their lives.
Forty-five minutes after finding my door stuck, I got in my room, a hair’s breath short of literally spilling my guts over the carpets. I threw my clothes off and leapt into the shower to clean up, and finally got myself a fresh stoma to wear.
I now had to get a new room key for what was now a fully reprogrammed lock. I saw the Con’s main representative and started to tell her what had just happened to me. Already struggling to think of the least cringeworthy ways to raise what was such an icky embarrassing conversation for me, I got no further than telling her I’d been locked out of my room for 45 minutes when she flounced past me saying simply ‘It’s all part of the fun isn’t it’. I felt like I’d just been laughed at by The Samaritans. I hadn’t even got as far as ‘stoma’ or ‘making a mess of myself’. I now really needed urgent destressing, not this blatant display of cold-indifference and a really don’t care stance from someone with years of con-running experience. Fortunately some of my friends proved much more supportive.
The Dealer’s Room – Books always help make me happy and Gawd knows I needed that now so seeing the book room was a real blast of rejuvenating energy. Copies of my own book were on sale there too, and I bought several books, including work by friends and some writers who had impressed me at the excellent workshop earlier in the day before my stomach re-enacted The Poseidon Adventure.
My book cases in Preston – taken by me
More books were available for free and for small donations to worthy causes in the lobby, and there were free back issues of fanzines to enjoy too. My suitcase was now going to be filled to capacity on my return journey when I left Buxton.
Meeting Friends – Unlike the much bigger Eastercons, #Novacon is not a bank holiday weekend event so many arrive later in the Friday afternoon and early evening due to work arrangements. It was lovely to meet old friends as they turned up, especially after the two year grounding most of us have endured due to Covid. Even now, face masking in transit between seating areas and during many events was sensibly encouraged. Though we were asked to get flow-test results before attending (negative results obviously), no one asked for confirmation that this had been done.
My covid Mask – taken by me
Several of us went out to the excellent Buxton Tap Room for a few beers, staying longer because of the rain we could see outside. The bar was just a few minutes walk from the Palace hotel, and part of the 53 Degrees North bar I’d drank in and dined on Wednesday 10th. Several friends bought me pints here. Cheers folks.
The Buxton Brewery Tap House Cellar Bar – taken by me
The Novacon Book Launch – We returned in time for the Novacon Book launch, this involved a free copy each of a literary compilation of (often exclusive) stories written for Novacon events over the event’s 50 year history, and some added specially for the 50th anniversary. Authors include Iain M Banks, Adrian Tchaikovsky and Stephen Baxter.
Drinking took up the remainder of our time though the real ale bar ran dry early and the main hotel bar stopped serving at 11 pm. Committee members assured us later openings would come later in the weekend but nothing came of this. Nevertheless several of us stayed up chatting until way into the early hours. I retired to my room about 2.30 am.
Much to praise though sadly this was not a science fiction convention without its flaws and problems.
The good stuff.
The Paace Hotel, Novacon
1/. The best thing was the reunion factor, seeing many lovely friends after the two year break from conventioning caused by Covid (and my own personal health concerns). 2/. There was a terrific programme of events, and some outstanding highlights included a screening of The Stooge, a fan film based on the work of lovely guest of honour Christopher Priest, 3/. and the beer tasting party was fabulous (though it ran in direct parallel to the shambolic Mediterranean banquet. 4/. Bar staff were very friendly, helpful and efficient. 5/. Playing Scrabble with some of my friends was huge fun.
Beer I took to Novacon
The regrettable negatives, most of which relate to the hotel.
1/. The con had been scheduled to take place in Nottingham, but the hotel there was registered as a stand-by Nightingale Hospital, a status it retains until at least Xmas, The Palace Hotel in Buxton must have seemed a great choice as a replacement especially in its location right next to the great spa town’s railway station (serving as the station Hotel until recently, and now booking rather tired and run down. The hotel gets many negative reviews on Trip Advisor, which I thought and hoped to be exaggerated or false but many are rather too accurate with the benefit of hindsight. The bars stopped serving around 11pm, and though the con committee kept saying they would get this extended for the remaining nights it never changed. https://www.tripadvisor.co.uk/Hotel_Review-g190756-d192010-Reviews-The_Palace_Hotel-Buxton_Derbyshire_England.html
2/. While the con took place entirely on the ground floor making disabled access easy, (apart from in getting suitcases up the main entrance steps) guest bedrooms were upstairs and approached by a dreadful rickety lift that had clearly seen better days. It was slow and often ignored attempts to summon it, or instruct it as to which floor to visit. It was in many ways reflective of the Hotel’s crumbling stance on quality. If it is wearing down don’t fix it right way but leave it until it fully breaks. The lift quality is likely to continue to deteriorate unattended until someone gets trapped in it.
The Lift – Palace Hotel, Buxton – Taken by me
3/. Rooms – cold as there is little heating and windows were left wide open to let air in to help fight Covid. I closed mine right away. Though I don’t want Covid I don’t want hypothermia either. Much con space was equally freezing.
4/. Electric Key Cards and locks – Here a minor inconvenience turned much more serious, distressing, dangerous and embarrassing for me personally. I never like the electronic door keys and much prefer metal keys and Yale style locks. The keys at the Royal frequently failed and needed resetting. This meant delays in getting into rooms to have to take the keys down to reception (in the rickety lift) to get them reset. My key seemed to break in this way early on the Saturday morning, so I got it reset and went back to my room, only for it to still fail to interact with the door. This was more than just a minor inconvenience and delay. The reason I needed to get to my room was that my successful bowel cancer treatment has left me with a stoma bag, which was getting very full and in need of a rapid change. The delay in getting into my room, to remove and dispose of the full bag, clean the stoma wound and apply a fresh bag routinely meant the full bag was splitting away from my abdomen. Its contents were leaking over my waist and into my tee shirt, jeans and underwear. I was in effect, crapping myself through my stomach. To my horror, the key failing a second time proved the key was not faulty, but the key reading lock was. I now had a staggering forty-five minute wait for an engineer to replace my room’s door lock while trying desperately not to dribble my poo over the floor. No masterkey seemed to be possible to use to access the room. It was totally dependent on a useless computer accessory.
One of my (unused) Stoma Bags – Taken by me
Once it was fixed I rushed into the room, changed my stoma, and took off all my messed up clothes, showered, got dressed again and then had to go to reception for a third time to get a new key tuned to the new lock (the key failed again the next night).
5/. Con Committee Staff Member reaction to the above – I thought I should alert the con committee to the problem I had had, even though it was primarily a hotel problem – we do after all have a committee liaison officer. A leading member was passing so I started to describe my issues, to which she flippant replied “It’s all part of the fun. It wouldn’t be Novacon without a few hiccups would it’ and walked off with utter indifference to hearing me complete my story.
My answer – NO! It is not the slightest remotest bit funny or amusing when hotel dilapidation turns a minor crisis into a potential medical emergency that causes someone already diagnosed with depression and anxiety such unpleasant, embarrassing discomfort. Had i got to my room unobstructed it would never have been a problem. There are many reasons why guests might need to visit their hotel rooms quickly and suddenly; angina meds for a heart condition, diabetic insulin, a need to catch a train within a short time period (the 45 minute delay could cause more than just missing a part of the programme and convention we have paid to attend. Inability to get into a room allocated to you for any reason is an emergency. The con needs to log that such events happen to its members so it serves as a record and helps future convention organizers decide whether a given venue should be reused again or not. Walking away when a con attendee is trying to describe such a horrible situation while telling said con-goer it is ‘funny’ was incredibly rude, uncaring, insensitive, offensive and inappropriate. Worse was to come.
6/. The Banquet Fiasco. The Sunday night flagship event was the conjoined Beer Tasting and Mediterranean Buffet Meal. The lovely beer tasting event involved fans bringing in bottles or cans of beer (three each), to add to a table for everyone to pick drinks from (fans not bringing in beer could pay to sample the beers and those attending got a badge to wear to say we were invited / involved. This worked flawlessly, with some great ale discoveries to be made. The beers I took in went down well for those picking them out too.
In tandem with the beer tasting there was the banquet, which attendees could go to without going for beer and it cost £13.95 to attend. (separate to the £6.00 admission fee for non-beer providers at the beer tasting event.
No badge was issued to banquet attendees but a ticket was given to all who paid to go. Alas no effort was made to take or inspect the tickets so it is not inconceivable that some guests got a free meal and given the disaster looming that is more conceivable than it may initially sound.
The banquet menu looked impressive, including salads, peta breads, kebabs, salmon, chips and much more. As the price was way above the usual restaurant charge for buffet meals many, myself included expected high quality food and plenty of it.
When the food was put out in the serving area, it looked good, but clearly not enough to feed everyone attending.
Some diners never waited to be told to get theirs but simply helped themselves to heaped platefuls uninvited. Word finally came round that the guest speakers, committee and volunteers were to be served first and then ‘hotel staff’ would tell us table by table when it was our turn to go up. Like most I felt this was a fine sensible arrangement.
After the staff and VIP’s ate, the food tables were left unattended and just sitting there, for over thirty minutes. Occasionally the announcement was made that we should wait to be told when to join the queue before going up. This was ridiculous as there was no queue at all. Several individuals and one whole table mutinied and went for the food anyway. No attempt was made to challenge or stop them even though this was going on in plain sight of everyone including the committee members most in charge of organizing the event.
Finally the committee gave up waiting for hotel staff to do what they could have easily done themselves from the start and approach a table with the simple words ‘you can go up now’.
It was clear within a few tables being served that the supply of food was depleting and empty containers were not being replaced or replenished. Regrettably some of the premature diners made this worse by going back for seconds and some diners had so much food on their plates that there was little left to choose from by the time the last two tables (one of them being that which I was on), got the green light to get some food. Virtually all the promised hot food, including the ‘french fries’ chips were stone cold by the time we got near them thanks to the needless long time the food was left just sitting there.
As we ate one committee member (the same lady who dismissed my room lock out as ‘funny’ as if it was too trivial to bother her with came over to offer a sort of apology to those of us who had missed out on some of the food, and offer a partial refund if any us required it.
She blamed A/.The Hotel B/. Attendees taking more than their share and jumping the queue.
To my disgust she then turned and snapped at me that I had clearly got enough to eat and wouldn’t qualify. This was blatantly untrue and unfair. I never queue jumped and my plate was hardly stacked up, and I had missed out many of the foods entirely. I’m instructed by my medics to eat lots of fish. I was relieved to see seafood on the buffet menu but I got no fish whatsoever. I was told by a fellow diner that a few strays anchovies could be found in the lettuce leaves left in the fish trays. I was hardly going to go back foraging for scraps.
The queue jumping was inexcusable but easy to police if the committee had made an effort, like simply standing someone by the food to point anyone approaching back to their seats.
That some diners took a lot of food (sometimes more than they could eat given how much uneaten food was left wasted on several plates) as not always down to greed and selfishness. Some were leaving the convention from home right after the meal we had each paid so much over the odds and under the value of what was offered for. Many like me (the non-jumper-hoarder) expected the meagre supply to be replenished until it obviously wasn’t. Others panicked because some were so openly getting away with going up prematurely with zero effort to stop them and in some cases going twice before others, like me went once, so they got in while they thought it was still worth it (an eerie echo of Covid Lockdown panic buying).
The committee were right to aportion some blame to the ones jumping the queue and the hotel staff for not providing enough food for all. It was extremely inappropriate however for one committee member to so randomly slap me down so casually and rudely in front of my fellow fans as if I was in some way involved in some or any way in the panic food grab going on. Nobody else was left feeling singled out for blame for the problems including many who actually blatantly and openly engaged in them. By the time I legitimately got served I couldn’t have hoarded if I wanted to – by the time I visited the tables there was precious little left to hoard. There was no fish and only three small meat kebabs. I consciously took just one, so as not to rob those behind me of the remainder, but without any evidence before her eyes and lots of evidence of the actual queue jumping being totally ignored and not stopped or prevented by the committee until it was too late.
Many offered a refund were polite enough to waive it, as would be my stance, but the attitude that I was confronted with without provocation, on top of the earlier dismissal of my excremental crisis due to bad hotel management maintenance, makes me inclined to cal for my partial reimbursement and an apology on principle.
At the closing ceremony committee members admitted that there had been ‘a few niggling minor issues’ at the Palace, which was rather dismissive – they were often not niggling or petty at all, especially to those affected. I, a grown man, was left actually streaming my own excrement because a hotel can’t be bothered giving its door locks a health and safety inspection and maintenance overall. Hearing that dismissed as ‘funny’, a ‘joke’ or such a ‘niggling minor event that it shouldn’t be elevated to a more serious level of concern, was deeply saddening. Maybe by actually listening to what concerns attendees raise instead of brushing them aside with flippancy and flouncing off in mid conversation, such funny joky niggles won’t tarnish the smooth running of future conventions.
Yes, some fans behaved badly, yes the hotel caterers offered a misleading meal deal, but the committee absolutely must take on some of the blame for this disaster too.
Despite this, the overall con was great, and I know many worked hard to make it happen. I hope however that the glaring mistakes made are not repeated by the Novacon 51 Committee especially as they aim to revisit the Buxton Palace Hotel again for the 2022 event. Serious lessons and sensitivities need to be learned.
I am attending the Novacon Science Fiction Convention in Buxton, Derbyshire between the 12th and 14th November 2021. I’m actually going a few days early to have a chance to explore the area first.
Buxton Opera House, taken by me
I’ve been a science fiction convention attendee since the mid-1980’s, mostly going to the Eastercon events (so called for taking place at Easter). Add a few Worldcons, media-cons and Comicons, (among others) and you get the idea.
Strangely I never got to the Novacons (named for taking place in November), until this 50th year event in Buxton, Derbyshire. With my limited income this always fell too close to Christmas for my spending power.
This year is different. Not only do I have fewer surviving family and friends to get Xmas presents for, Covid and my own struggle with bowel cancer in 2020 actually reduced my opportunities to get out anywhere. With the extensive all consuming lockdown, conventions were of course justifiably cancelled. While I rarely agree with Government policies, the universal lockdown undoubtedly saved many lives throughout the Covid crisis which is far from over even now many of us are double-vaccinated.
My own health crisis saw me hospitalized for eight weeks, (through Xmas 2020 and New Year 2021), and treated at home and in clinics daily up to May 2021. Many friends, including lovely SF fans (especially The Manchester FONT SF group) helped keep my disintegrating morale down to a quiet riot. Even now, I’m sporting a stoma bag and diagnosed with mild depression and high anxiety, adjusting to being a newcomer to the largely invisible disability club.
The Beltane pub sign, Buxton – Taken by me
I am able to get around now. My condition made breathing problematic pre-diagnosis. I had thought my lungs were going but it turned out bowel areas play a big part in oxygenating the bloodstream. My lungs were fine but largely running on empty. In the end I could barely walk a few yards without needing to stop and rest. Now my energy is restoring, and I can walk several miles as long as I’ve not got too much to lug around. My pub signs photo collecting passion is back on course. I aim to get lots of photos in and around Buxton pre-convention.
I have actually been to Buxton before, on several Ramber’s Association treks through the Dark Peaks and my last pub sign collecting trip there was in 2011, quite early on in my quest for signs. The only pub I drank in then was the Milton’s Head which was terrific (though it was a decade ago). The best sign I found in the Spa-Town was The Beltane (now closed and replaced by The 53 Degrees North bar.)
I’ve been looking forward to Novacon immensely, counting the days down on my calendar, as giddy as a child in anticipation of Christmas. I’ve started packing, making lists of the stuff to take, looking at the websites and progress reports for indications of the programming to come. I’ve taken several self-administered Covid-lateral flow tests, fearful of going positive, or some change in the virus or rules to protect us from it leading to the con getting cancelled. So far, all is well.
The Milton’s Head pub sign, Buxton – Taken by me
The BBC weather pages indicate it will be cold but mostly dry (with a little rain anticipated for the Sunday). It’s all very exciting and it will be a huge joy to see everyone after so long out of the loop. My cancer crisis in many ways detracted me from recognition that the Covid tragedy has kept the rest of fandom, and much of the World apart from one another too. We may well have lost many good friends to the virus along the way. More than any con, this will be an emotional journey, a reunion, a thank you opportunity, and a chance to reflect on losses, and make up for lost time. Science fiction is about the future, and this is where we start to put our future back on track after Covid’s rude interruption to our journey forward.
Watch The Signs! Watch The Signs! book cover – Taken by me
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