Why am I always a magnet for the boring buggers?
It’s bad enough running into bullies and muggers
But I get stuck in the corner with the most tedious pricks on the planet
What have I done to deserve this, God Dammit!
“Look at this photo of a pigeon on my window sill
He looks so pretty, and he’s standing really still,
Now look at this second shot. No, it’s not the same as the last one – Look again
He’s moved a few millimeters along, you can tell from his shadow on the gutter-drain
Now in shot three he’s inched on a little bit more
I didn’t quite believe it first but now I’m quite sure
Photo five confirms it, he’s walking the ledge. Walking the ledge!
Even though he’s got wings, and can easily fly off the edge
Any time he wants and look what happens when he reaches the end
He turns round, even though there’s barely room to bend
To start walking back towards me and my lens.
Sadly at that point he got spooked and flew off, chased by some wrens
So I took shots of my carpet and a few selfies as well….. “
LIstening to this crap, I think I’m in Hell
I’m too too polite to get angry and yell
Get a life, you sad boring bastard
It’s not a skill I ever mastered
And the bore is not intentionally mean
Just a lonely sod who hasn’t yet seen
How uninteresting he can be prattling on all night
But I can still tolerate him more than the outright gobshite
Who always seems to home in on me
With his crass opinions and pompous ideology
The boring bird man was an irritating but well meaning twit
But the latest threat is an apex-predator bursting with bull shit,
Prattling loud and fast, not letting others get a word in
Through a Narcissist monologue that really gets under my skin
I’d listen to the bore and his birds all night before
Someone in love with the sound of his own voice
Convinced that nobody should have any choice
But to be subjected to his superior intellect
Looking down on distracted dissenters like insignificant insects
The boring bastard becomes a saving grace
When you’ve had some twat ranting right in your face
With zero regard for your boundaries and space
And you wonder why he keeps getting re-invited
By friends who seem incredibly short-sighted
Failing to see what you see or hear what you hear.
The only solution is to quietly disappear
Ignoring the invites and going nowhere near
The environment where empathy free Narcissists rule
The boring sod is just a harmless well meaning fool
He wouldn’t ever put me off going out
But if some egomaniac is likely to be hanging about
I will find somewhere else for me to be
On the night you throw your next party.
Arthur Chappell
My First Wordpress Blog 