You are not even offered the most basic social greeting
As you arrive at the party, the reunion event or the meeting.
They haven’t seen you in months, but don’t ask how you are.
No interest in what your journey was like though they know you travelled far.
A forced polite smile is about the best you can hope to receive
No one says hello as you arrive or goodbye as you or they leave
You wonder what you said or did that was wrong
There was a time when you felt you felt like you did belong
In the company of the elite that seems to be closing ranks
Even if you pass someone their drink you’re lucky if you get so much as a ‘thanks’.
They know you had cancer, and your Mum is dying
That even if you don’t show it, inside you are crying
They chat to each other around you as if you were a ghost
Distancing themselves from you when you need them the most
You try to join in an ongoing conversation but you might as well simply not be there
Sometimes they look at you in consternation, and sometimes they practically stare
While you end up with a table all to yourself
The last puppy on the pet shop shelf.
Everyone hates
Disability–Billy-No-Mates.
Your efforts to initiate conversation
Evaporate like heatwave condensation
Gaining grunts, tuts and excuses to move away
You are left feeling like the bad player not chosen to play
On the team, and no one has the courtesy to even try
Offering you any explanation or reason why
You are suddenly persona non-grata, someone to shun
Not giving a toss that you don’t seem to be having all that much fun
You show signs of despair, mental illness and depression.
Maybe they avoid eye contact with you for fear you’ll give expression
To how you really feel with dementia eating away at your mum
You stoma bag burden, not quite being cancer free, anxieties leaving you numb
Inside, in need of hugs, and some degree of inclusion
Not being made to feel being present at all is an unwelcome intrusion
For which chairs will be turned to face away
And friends ignoring most of what you try to say.
I’ve had family stealing my property
Cowardly narcissists scoring pointless points off of me
A cult stole my mind for nearly five years.
Is it an wonder some level of neurosis rears
It’s head after my run in with cancer?
In what way is a wall of social silence any kind of answer?
You look as if you are struggling to recover from some kind of attack
So the lack of support is just a way some people have of piling on the back.
Someday you might crash and burn out a bit too.
When and if you do somehow everything to do with you
Becomes forbidden, verboten, no-go, taboo.
That you had a new book published fails to impress
If anything your achievements makes some so called ‘friends’ merely quite jealous.
Though somehow you found yourself invited to some social event
Some of those present seem to regret and resent
You turning up there.
There was a time when they seemed to genuinely care
But something went wrong, so you are made to feel alienated
You used to feel wanted and loved but now you just feel unjustly berated and hated.
I hope such social distancing is not something I ever do
Even to someone stressed out, unwell, or smelling like poo.
A group of friends should not start behaving like some exclusive elite
Sending someone to Coventry is a way to bully, intimidate and mistreat
In a way that only rapists, paedos and killers probably deserve
It is not something any of should ever serve
On someone for being merely a little out on the edge of their tether
Looking unhappy, or feeling a touch under the weather.
When you know full well a friend has been or still goes through serious shit
You shouldn’t need it spelling out to you in the slightest bit
That you should show you still care and that they are still welcome by your side
Turning your back on them will only tear them apart even more inside.
If you’ve ever left me or anyone else feeling left on the shelf
You really ought to be fucking ashamed of yourself!
Arthur Chappell
My First Wordpress Blog 