Day Out Review – Bus To The Pub.

On Saturday 13th April 2024, I was among many passengers participating in the Merseyside Transport Trust’s Lancashire Beer And Buses day excursion, with vintage buses circling a route taking in 22 pubs, (including starting and finishing points for feeder services). I was able to get to try 11 ales in 9 of them. (I drank halves to maximize the different opportunities to hand).

Bus used during the excursion.

There were three routes, of which I completed on and a sizable portion of a second.  I got photos of several of the others. 

Base camp and starting/finishing point – The Guild Ale House Bar, Preston.

My chosen point of departure was The Guild Ale House, in Preston City Centre, a firm favourite with CAMRA and a superb live entertainment venue where I often get involved with open mic events, being a performance poet.

Event programme

Here I got my first ale, and the programme of events, transport routes and timetables.  Sales of the programme raised to help restore more vintage transport for museums and for events like this.

The first, plus the later buses used for the pub circuit were lovely and way more comfortable than current Preston Bus and Stagecoach stock. The passengers were all in great spirits (no pun intended) and there was a sense of good old fashioned charabanc in the air all day.  There was never any sign of trouble. 

First pub stop for me.

After a few other pick ups, our first potential alighting point was Tarlatan Village with three pubs close to one another to choose from. I went for The Cock And Bottle where staff were very welcoming and the décor delightfully eclectic. 

It was a little confusing at first working out where the bus would stop to collect me and others for the next phase of the journey.  I headed on to the Rufford village’s Hesketh Arms, which like other village bars on the route(s) was too isolated to head for on conventional public transport or as part of my pub sign studies. The pub had the finest sign I saw all day, a colourful heraldic presentation, though it looked like its frame was splitting.

Best pub sign of the day. The Hesketh Arms – Rufford.

As well as drinking in the pubs I was clocking up their histories and inspecting/photographing the inn signs for possible use in my future books on the subject. My first such study is already out,  Watch The Signs! Watch The Signs! (available through Shoreline Of Infinity https://www.shorelineofinfinity.com/product/watch-the-signs-watch-the-signs/  or directly from myself). Book two (independent of the first one) comes out on July 15th 2024 and hopefully  some of the signs captured on walks like the one described here will make it into future volumes.

The pub that nearly forgot it does sell real ale – The Bull And Dog, Burscough

From Rufford it was onto Burscough, the town with biggest concentration of signs in one area. Buses from all three routes converged on the Hop Vine which became a central hub for all the optional directions I could take. After capturing photos round the town centre and canal wharf area (which hosts several bars and diners)  I started by going out to the far end of Burscough, to the Bull And Dog.  At first I thought they had no real ales on, but when I asked the barman apologized for not putting the promotional clip on the one offered, and hurriedly amended that, producing another fine ale in a bar with a huge beer garden.

Canal View – Burcough

As well as pubs I captured images of other interesting sights like: A, The Canals

B/. Street art like this swan in Burscough.

Street Art Swan, Burscough

From there I went out to the two Scarisbrick bars, starting with The Kicking Donkey.  If not for the bus warden who ushered passengers on and off, I might well have missed this delightful pub entirely. Lacking signage, it is set back from the main road and hidden by hedgerows, approachable through a wooden gate. The weather was warming so much here that many of us sat outside in the beer garden. Our trip coincided with the Grand National Horse Race and this pub served a beer called National Hero which would have been cruel not to indulge in. (worth it too).

Beer clip for National Hero, on Grand National Day.

A few minutes ride up the road we came to Heaton’s Bridge, still is Scarisbrick,  with some eccentric artwork on display, fish swimming in a tank and a specially blended in house ale commemorating a 1970’s TV show, On The Buses.  This was another must to try seeing as we were indeed very much travelling ‘on the buses’. 

On The Buses beer clip

With time pressing on, I swung back round on the buses going widdershins and re-entered Burscough, with time to call in three more bars in close proximity to one another. The first was The Bridge, which was a big sports bar by the railway station.  The Grand National itself was on live on the TV’s so many punters were engaged in that which made getting served easy.

Over now to the canal-side Thirsty Duck (previously called The Blue Mallard), an excellent tap house with a great range of ales, though no true pub sign.  The bar was quite crowded so I went out to the beer garden with my first ale only to find the climate changing severely and a sudden gust of wind swept my barely sipped beer glass to the floor before my eyes. 

Gorgeous tapestry in The Thirsty Duck, Burscough

I went in to reorder and spotted a pump promoting Rivington’s Green Light ale, a chocolate mint porter. I decided to switch to that and stay indoors.  A sip of the beer told me it was not only delicious but that its thick syrupy texture screamed strength. I walked to bar to check what I should have read on the beer clip before ordering. The Green Light was 10.2% in strength. I felt relived to have only ordered a half.

My penultimate port of call was the hub bar itself, the Hop Vine which was extremely crammed, largely as many passengers had the same idea as I did and all the last buses would be departing from close proximity to the pub just over thirty minutes onwards.  I purposely ordered the lightest ale I could see, at less than 4%, after my 10.2% number at the previous pub.

Bus used during the excursion.

The return ride went well and everyone was cheering and tipping the bus crew who had worked incredibly hard to look after us and get us safely from bar to bar with great efficiency.  We dropped various passengers off at points along the route back to our starting pub, The Guild Ale House where I enjoyed my final ale of the day and headed for an ordinary bus home to my flat from the bus station a few minutes walk from the pub.

Thank you so much to the staff of the Guild Ale House, the passengers who I travelled with, the drivers and bus monitors, the staff and patrons of all the bars frequented and I can already not wait for next year’s trip.  Awesome stuff.

All Photos taken by me.

Arthur Chappell

Eastercon 2024 Levitation – Telford International Centre Shropshire  29th March to 1st April 2024

International Centre, Telford, Convention venue. Taken by me.

Links to the pages of event reviews stretched over the week.

Though the Eastercon Science Fiction convention began on Good Friday I travelled into Shropshire two days before, on Wednesday 27th March to have time for exploring the area with my camera, and came home the morning after the convention (2nd April). There was actually some pre-convention book reading activity on the eve of the Con too.  If you just want to read the con reports, you can skip the Wednesday, and Thursday links and get right on to the con day activities. Reviews of individual venues and bars visited on the expedition are included too. Any suggested changes or corrections welcome.

1/. Pre Con Activity Wednesday 27th  March 2024  https://arthurchappell.wordpress.com/2024/04/04/pre-convention-activity-wednesday-27th-april-2024-eastercon-2024-levitation-telford-international-centre-shropshire-29th-march-to-1st-april-2024/

2/. Pre-Con Activity Thursday 28th March 2024  https://arthurchappell.wordpress.com/2024/04/05/pre-convention-activity-thursday-28th-april-2024-eastercon-2024-levitation-telford-international-centre-shropshire-29th-march-to-1st-april-2024/

3/. Eastercon Levitation Day 1 Telford Shropshire – Good Friday 29th March 2024  https://arthurchappell.wordpress.com/2024/04/05/2732/ 

4/. Eastercon Levitation Day 2 Telford Shropshire – Easter Saturday 2 – 30th  March 2024 https://arthurchappell.wordpress.com/2024/04/05/eastercon-levitation-day-2-telford-shropshire-easter-saturday-2-30th-march-2024/  

5/. Eastercon Levitation Day 3 Telford Shropshire – Easter Sunday 31st March 2024 https://arthurchappell.wordpress.com/2024/04/05/convention-activity-sunday-31st-april-2024-eastercon-2024-levitation-telford-international-centre-shropshire/

6/. Eastercon Levitation Day 4 Telford Shropshire – Easter Monday – 1st April 2024  and Post-Eastercon Levitation Lost Luggage Home Coming – Tuesday 2nd April 2024 https://arthurchappell.wordpress.com/2024/04/05/eastercon-levitation-day-4-easter-monday-1st-april-2024-and-lost-luggage-home-journey-tuesday-2nd-april-24/

7/. Poem Performed during the convention, Having An Episode https://arthurchappell.wordpress.com/2024/04/05/poem-having-an-episode/ 

8/. My Convention photos https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.398391129802509&type=3

9/. Hotel And Convention Site Reviews

Holiday Inn – Telford https://www.tripadvisor.co.uk/ShowUserReviews-g187050-d189313-r945451364-Holiday_Inn_Telford_Ironbridge_an_IHG_Hotel-Telford_Shropshire_England.html

The Telford International Centre  https://www.tripadvisor.co.uk/ShowUserReviews-g187050-d3598945-r945453639-Telford_International_Centre-Telford_Shropshire_England.html

The Telford International Hotel https://www.tripadvisor.co.uk/ShowUserReviews-g187050-d563844-r945452418-International_Hotel_Telford-Telford_Shropshire_England.html

10/. Pub Reviews

Albert’s Shed – Telford  https://www.tripadvisor.co.uk/ShowUserReviews-g187050-d24909667-r945454408-Albert_s_Shed-Telford_Shropshire_England.html

The King’s Head – Shrewsbury https://www.tripadvisor.co.uk/ShowUserReviews-g186368-d3365856-r945455324-Kings_Head-Shrewsbury_Shropshire_England.html

The Salopian Bar – Shrewsbury   https://www.tripadvisor.co.uk/ShowUserReviews-g186368-d5915682-r945455817-The_Salopian_Bar-Shrewsbury_Shropshire_England.html

The Three Fishes – Shrewsbury https://www.tripadvisor.co.uk/ShowUserReviews-g186368-d2633648-r945456332-Three_Fishes-Shrewsbury_Shropshire_England.html

The Tontine Hotel – Ironbridge https://www.tripadvisor.co.uk/ShowUserReviews-g186366-d1199177-r945456862-The_Tontine_Hotel-Ironbridge_Ironbridge_Gorge_Telford_Shropshire_England.html

Wrekin Giant – Telford https://www.tripadvisor.co.uk/ShowUserReviews-g187050-d7283603-r945453066-Wrekin_Giant-Telford_Shropshire_England.html

11/. Beer Reviews (Note, this page covers ales enjoyed throughout March 2024 but all beers enjoyed in Telford, Ironbridge and Shrewsbury were consumed during the con week.  No beers for the Monday as I only list beers not consumed by me before. https://arthurchappell.wordpress.com/2024/04/05/30-beers-enjoyed-in-march-2024/

Arthur Chappell

Eastercon Levitation Day 4 – Easter Monday – 1st April 2024 And Lost Luggage Home Journey Tuesday 2nd April 24

Monday

The closing day of a convention is always a sad one as friends say goodbye and leave over the day, and many may not be seen again for a year or more. There are still many great programme events to attend though and here are some I watched and/or got involved in.

Poetry Circle – Chris Morgan (Moderator)

A simple relaxed poetry round robin group with poets including myself taking in turns, one poem each at a time to entertain each other and several people who just came to appreciate the wonderful diverse range of material covered. 

Me performing poetry in Manchester, photo by Andy N.

I have included one of the poems I performed at the poetry circle event, (Having An Episode) here. https://arthurchappell.wordpress.com/2024/04/05/poem-having-an-episode/ 

Closing ceremony, 

The con was coming to an end, and many dear friends had already left when long journeys, and work schedules prevented them staying any later. The closing ceremony was a chance to say farewell to everyone and thank the organizers, as well as see a moving tribute to Eastercon attendees and favourite writers who have died in the year since the last convention.

There was a huge cheer when the Doc Weir Award for long term services to fandom went to David Langford and gasps of surprise that he hasn’t been given it before now. 

Farah Mendlesohn, Committee Chair, paid a moving heartfelt tribute to her team, and they surprised her with a much deserved surprise award for her own hard work to make the magic happen. An Eastercon, always run entirely by volunteers and without profit, is a truly Herculean labour.  This one occurred in the same year as a Worldcon so attendance was inevitably down (many choose one con over the other for economic reasons).   So much went right with this convention, and the input from online speakers and panellists was amazing.

Dead Dog,

With the con officially over, some attendees, myself included, were staying for one last night, to drink, chill and make use of the full non-bank holiday Tuesday for our journeys home, so the bar in the Holiday Inn remained open to us.  The informal party went on late though I was feeling quite exhausted as early as 8pm so I bowed out and headed to my hotel, packed away anything not needed in the morning and went to bed. I was woken briefly soon after midnight when the hotel fire alarms triggered but they switched off before I got as far as the room door in my evacuation moves, so I went back to bed. 

Telford Eastercon Tuesday 2nd April – Coming Home Train Journey Blues

With trainline works completed and no threatened strikes on the rail services, I expected a relaxed easy ride home, but it wasn’t to be. I got up, completed my packing, got breakfast, said farewell to a few people and got a taxi to Telford station.  I had to get a train to Wolverhampton for a connecting service to Preston.  That I expected, a straight forward reverse of the incoming journey.  Though a few minutes late, all looked well as I boarded the Telford to Wolverhampton train, so what could possibly go wrong? Answer, just about everything.

My suitcase – photo by myself

I struggled to get my big blue heavy suitcase in the luggage rack, so had to juggle other stuff in and out. Finally got it in and realized I’d lost my small rucksack in the process with people behind me eager to get their own stuff in, and the train very much on the brink of departure. Wasn’t sure if I’d buried my rucksack behind my case or others on the rack above, or if I’d left it in the Telford station passenger lounge.  Made the split second decision to get off and check if it was at Telford first and get them to phone the train to get the guard to drop it off in Wolverhampton if I didn’t see it, and catch it there on the next train (my open ticket lasts until late April).

Struggled to get off with my big case now with two ladies saying I was being rude for charging past them but at that point it felt like I was after the last seat in the lifeboat on the Titanic and with my spare stomas and my camera in the AWOL bag I was really past caring.

I got off just as the train doors were closing, found my bag wasn’t on the station at Telford so went with plan B. I told the station-master who took my details, bag description, and made some phone calls. Only when the guard on the train reported that he had failed to find it did panic kick in.

Statue Of Prince Albert – Wolverhampton, photographed by me

Advised to get the next train to Wolverhampton and sort it out there so I did, only to be told again that it hadn’t been found or handed in, so I’d best just head home and fill in an online railway police report on it so I started heading to the platform for the Wolves to Preston train, but the guard came after me to tell me excitedly that he had just found out that it had been handed in at Birmingham and was now on route back to Wolverhampton on the next train back to Telford. The only awkwardness now was I’d miss the Preston train to wait for it getting back into my hands but I was Ok with that. Sure enough it came in from Birmingham and I had nearly another hour to kill in Wolverhampton before my train home arrived.  As there was no ticket inspection going in and out of the station, I dragged my case on wheels and rescued bag round taking photos of Wolverhampton, where everyone seemed to be pissed or as high as kites before noon. One guy seemed convinced I was taking his photo when I was pointing the camera right in the air and a young woman said my big blue quite common-place plastic suitcase was the most beautiful thing she had ever seen and wanted to know where she could buy one. She was seriously off her face on something.  

Pub sign, The Posada – Wolverhampton, photographed by me

I returned to the station in plenty of time to continue my journey smoothly. Arrived home mid-afternoon to be presented with a new key to the block containing my bedsit, as one of the owners of one of the other five flats had broken a key in the front door lock and that had to be changed leading to fresh keys all round. 

In Gratitude

Thanks as always to more people than I’ll remember here, and in no particular order.  The moderators and fellow panellists of the events I directly participated in, friends from Manchester’s FONT SF Group,  especially Smuzz & Eira, to various folk who treated me to beers, etc. Malcolm Hutchinson, who provided a great deal of chocolate for everyone all weekend,  con event organizers, the gophers, volunteers and tech folk who keep the events flowing, the various folk who joined in on discord from around the UK and beyond, the con committee who really pulled a blinder with this year’s event (the 75th Eastercon),  the bar and hotel and convention centre staff, and the staff at Telford, Wolverhampton and even the (unvisited by me) Birmingham rail stations who tracked down, rescued and safely returned my missing back-pack bag, complete with my medical supplies. Everyone not mentioned too, you are all amazing, wonderful people. 

Beer glass at the Holiday Inn – Cheers everyone – photographed (and drunk) by me.

Links – The 2025 Eastercon – Belfast https://easterconbelfast.org/

Worldcon 2024 – Glasgow https://glasgow2024.org/ 

Photos taken by me

Arthur Chappell

Poem – Having An Episode.

This poem was performed by me at the Poetry Circle event at Eastercon Levitation 2024 on 1st April 2024.

Doctor Who TARDIS – FAB Cafe, Manchester, photographed by me

I’m stuck going forward with my time travelling  

My mental continuum is unravelling. 

I don’t get intrepid adventures, 

I feel decrepit, and I think I need dentures. 

I started off in 62, but here I am 62 years on 

The days in between all irrecoverably gone.  

My chameleon circuits messed up, so please understand  

That’s why I’m still the same fat bald old git wherever I land.  

Many memories lost, like the Hartnell years  

Why do I recollect the sadness and tears  

More than any of the happy endings?  

Along the way there were many befriendings 

But where are all my companions now? 

I also don’t really get how  

I only ended up with a single heart 

When most time lords are blessed with more 

That scarecrow Worzel Pertwee bloke for a start, 

He had at least two for sure. 

Like the Doctor I can’t control where I materialize  

I’d like to help the resistance on some world where the Daleks rise  

But I never get to visit some planet in distress 

I end up getting drunk at Butlins in Skegness  

As much as I’d happily face danger, excitement and thrills 

The only thing bigger on the inside for me are electricity bills.  

Some see me as far-fetched and outlandish and I wish I could find,  

A great big sofa for me  to hide behind  

As my greatest enemies, Taxman, Bowel Cancer and Death 

snatch away my wealth, and my health and threaten to take my very last breath  

While my only screwdrivers are vodka cocktails. 

Since I jumped the shark interest in my life story fails. 

Cancellation sounds worse than extermination  

This may be my worst ever cliff-hanger situation. 

Can the powers that be find a good reason 

To renew my contract for at least one more season? 

All seems lost but is the situation really that bleak? 

If you want to find out, tune in again this time next week.    

Arthur Chappell  

Convention Activity – Sunday 31st April 2024  Eastercon 2024 Levitation – Telford International Centre Shropshire 

Day Three of the marvellous Eastercon convention. Post breakfast this was the order of events I attended and / or participated in.

The George Hay Lecture: Battling Cancer in 2024 

Dr James Flanagan, compered by Graham Sleight.

Slide used in Dr James Flanagan’s presentation

Given that I am a stoma wearing for life (bowel) cancer patient in remission, this was a particularly important real science presentation for me personally.  It was refreshingly optimistic in many respects too. 

Not surprisingly the push by all engaged in the fight to irradicate this terrible disease centres on assessing risks, preventative measures and lifestyle changes, including the obvious push to end smoking as a habit, early diagnosis/treatment. An end to smoking could save up to 50,000 people a year from lung cancer. 

Cancer is frighteningly common, with around 50% of the World population likely to contract it. Post initial diagnosis, the general life expectancy is about ten years.

Slide used in Dr James Flanagan’s presentation

Cervical cancer is virtually irradicated due to the push for screenings, vaccines. Other cancers could potentially follow suit.

Cancer cells mutate and adapt and fight back hard, and many cells within a given area or form of cancer can behave very differently to one another.  Cancer needs to divide and multiply its cells, generate its own blood cells, and ignore stop signals,

The NHS sets 62 days as the target to reach in getting patients from diagnosis to the start of treatment (be it surgery (as in my case), or Chemotherapy/radiotherapy). Sadly, the target dates are often exceeded due to the current demands on the severely stretched NHS. 

Cancer should not be just survived, but treatment should leave the patients with some quality of life.

Areas of study are centring on full cancer vaccines, genetic coding to ascertain the risk of inheritance of likelihood to contract cancers, lollipops – a flavoured stick that can be licked to gather saliva for medical analysis, and even smart toilets, able to assess and analyse urine and stool samples to raise signals for the users if there are traces of cancer to detect. We need to make cancer less of a disease to worry about and improve the problems assailing the British NHS.

Slide used in Dr James Flanagan’s presentation

Sadly there was no time left for a Q and A, after a very uplifting look at the immediate future in the real scientific-medical World.

The Rise And Rise Of The Short Story

Aliette De Bodard, Ian Waites (Moderator), John Laidlow,  M V Melcer and Rick Danforth.

The short story market (in many genres) is going through something of a renaissance.  Much of this is rooted in online resources. The panellists, themselves short story authors, editors and publishers,   see the internet as a primary reason for this.  No longer did writers have to package printed out typed manuscripts for shipping expensively through the post offices, paying expensive return postage rates and waiting an eternity. Now, e-mail attachment sending is much more the norm and the writer is given much more freedom to work on new projects between replies.

Telford International – Eastercon R & R area

Some of the panel seemed disappointed by how few of us in the audience subscribe(d) to Asimov’s and other leading SF short story publishers but as one panellist noted, the magazines were available in the shops which saved the cost of expensive subscriptions.

I  asked about the importance of networking and getting to know other authors, publishers, etc and behave very much the life of the writer even if not necessarily a professional author.  I would never pressure anyone to take note of my work (I once saw a writer sneak into a cloak room and slip copies of his poems into the coat pockets of some editors and media people so they could ‘see and appreciate them’ in the near future. It was likely to anger them rather than generate positive reactions.  I do present talks and sometimes performances as well as I can, and three times now I have sold work when publishers have tuned in and asked me for something they can publish *which never involves me twisting my arm).  The main thing is that the market has never been healthier, for readers and writers alike.

The Venn Diagram Of Subgenres In Horror

Gary Cousins, Helen Gould, Jeremy Bamford (Moderator),  Tiffani Angus,  Neil Williamson,

From steampunk, splatterpunk, and through various categories and labels,  horror, as with SF and fantasy, seems to constantly break down into more specific groupings.  The panellists centred more on movies more than literature.

Horror invariably has sub-text, i.e., Dawn of the Dead’s commentary on Consumerism or the Babadook’s observations on grief and depression.  It is impossible for the work to  avoid this. 

Horror art – Boho’s Bar – Wolverhampton

We often dilute away the horror. The disembodied hand called Thing in The Addams Family should terrify us but we laugh.  Starting with Goosebumps books we acclimatise ourselves to horror as we mature said one panellist. (I started at the deep end with the Pan collections of Horror Stories). 

The movie of Barbie was questioned as to whether it is a horror work, given it tries not to be unsettling, and yet it does have existential images and highlight the crap many women endure. 

The panel seemed to go off topic to just discuss whether various coming movies will be horror works to look forward to or not.

Horror Skull (Paperweight)

I asked about if many genres rise from cash in economics. A successful creature feature like James Herbert’s The Rats spawned books on killer bats, worms, crabs, crocs,  cockroaches, and every critter imaginable.  The panel noted that such work can be seen as nature avenging itself on us for the wrongs we do to it,  so even friendly creatures an turn on us, etc.

Develop Your Vocal Delivery – Annie  

A straight forward voice coaching series of advise tips.  Annie let participants read or recite pieces of our work, to receive feedback on how well we presented, projected and covered the range of our voices. Everyone who read a piece took on board feedback and presented their short submissions again and everyone I saw improved considerably. Sadly I had to leave before the end to get to another event in which I was an active panellist.

The Secrets Of Good Comedy

Me, Donna Scott, David Wake (as Captain Tartan), Alex Shvartsman (Moderator), Maria Sjostrand,

The masks of comedy and tragedy

From stand up, and performance to written work, the panel used humour to highlight humour with reference to many writers who have used comedy in their work,  Spider Robinson,  Mary Gentle,  Robert Rankin, among others got a mention. Donna and David both write and perform comedy. David made use of the convention marking the 25th anniversary of the debut of his comedic alter-ego, Captain Tartan, in one of several Captain Scarlet parodies. I had the honour of modest roles in some Captain Tartan productions.  David dressed in his Spectrum puppet costume for the event and the rest of the night. 

David Wake as Captain Tartan – Telford International Centre

I mentioned that even when presenting serious poems on my need to wear stoma bags I use a glove puppet stoma bag in the presentation to lighten the mood. His photo is included here.

My Stoma Bag glove puppet

Photos taken by me.

Arthur Chappell 

Poem – Snubbed

Arthur performing at Vinyl Tap, Preston – photo by Kelsey

You are not even offered the most basic social greeting

As you arrive at the party, the reunion event or the meeting.

They haven’t seen you in months, but don’t ask how you are.

No interest in what your journey was like though they know you travelled far.

A forced polite smile is about the best you can hope to receive

No one says hello as you arrive or goodbye as you or they leave

You wonder what you said or did that was wrong

There was a time when you felt you felt like you did belong

In the company of the elite that seems to be closing ranks

Even if you pass someone their drink you’re lucky if you get so much as a ‘thanks’.

They know you had cancer, and your Mum is dying

That even if you don’t show it, inside you are crying

They chat to each other  around you as if you were a ghost

Distancing themselves from you when you need them the most

You try to join in an ongoing conversation but you might as well simply not be there

Sometimes they look at you in consternation, and sometimes they practically stare

While you end up with a table all to yourself

The last puppy on the pet shop shelf.

Arthur performing at Vinyl Tap, Preston – photo by Kelsey

Everyone hates

DisabilityBilly-No-Mates.

Your efforts to initiate conversation

Evaporate like heatwave condensation

Gaining grunts, tuts and excuses to move away

You are left feeling like the bad player not chosen to play

On the team, and no one has the courtesy to even try

Offering you any explanation or reason why

You are suddenly persona non-grata, someone to shun

Not giving a toss that you don’t seem to be having all that much fun

You show signs of despair, mental illness and depression.

Maybe they avoid eye contact with you for fear you’ll give expression

To how you really feel  with dementia eating away at your mum

You stoma bag burden, not quite being cancer free, anxieties leaving you numb

Inside, in need of hugs, and some degree of inclusion

Not being made to feel being present at all is an unwelcome intrusion

For which chairs will be turned to face away

And friends ignoring most of what you try to say.

I’ve had family stealing my property

Cowardly narcissists scoring pointless points off of me

A cult stole my mind for nearly five years.

Is it an wonder some level of neurosis rears

It’s head after my run in with cancer?

In what way is a wall of social silence any kind of answer?

You look as if you are struggling to recover from some kind of attack

So the lack of support is just a way some people have of piling on the back.

Someday you might crash and burn out a bit too.

When and if you do somehow everything to do with you

Becomes forbidden, verboten, no-go, taboo.

That you had a new book published fails to impress

If anything your achievements makes some so called  ‘friends’ merely quite jealous.

Though somehow you found yourself invited to some social event

Some of those present seem to regret and resent

You turning up there.

There was a time when they seemed to  genuinely care

But something went wrong, so you are made to feel alienated

You used to feel wanted and loved but now you just feel unjustly berated and hated.

I hope such social distancing is not something I ever do

Even to someone stressed out, unwell, or smelling like poo.

A group of friends should not start behaving like some exclusive elite

Sending someone to Coventry is a way to bully, intimidate and mistreat

In a way that only rapists, paedos and killers probably deserve

It is not something any of should ever serve

On someone for being merely a little out on the edge of their tether

Looking unhappy, or feeling a touch under the weather.

When you know full well a friend has been or still goes through serious shit

You shouldn’t need it spelling out to you in the slightest bit

That you should show you still care and that they are still welcome by your side

Turning your back on them will only tear them apart even more inside.

If you’ve ever left me or anyone else feeling left on the shelf

You really ought to be fucking ashamed of yourself!

Arthur Chappell

Poem – Der!

Poem – Der!

Written for World Poetry Day – March 21st 2024

Me performing poetry, taken by Andy N.

So Girls are not made of sugar and spice or all things nice

And Boys do not consist of snakes, snails or puppy dog tails

As mum and dad always said to me, but now I have it on good advice

That making such claims in my exams mean I will fail

To get my university degree,

Or I would if I didn’t have a bursary.

College funding could get withdrawn

If my essays continue to be treated with derision and scorn

My graduation is assured and guaranteed

My parents control the money the universities need.   

Despite this my tyrant tutor says I should have taken a look

Through various biology and medical text books

Into some of which I have now taken a bit of a gander

Not only realizing I was fed fake news and propaganda

During my upbringing.

My guts are actually quite complicated

Intestines and colons sound really minging.

I still don’t get how all those bits are integrated and related

But it does sound more realistic than Alsatians

Chasing snails round under my skin.

Lungs seem better than panting dalmatians

How much other crap has my head taken in?

I can’t believe I thought women were literally sugar.

Why did they never dissolve in the rain? 

Was I always such a stupid little bugger

How much other nonsense is there in my brain?

Next I’ll find out the Earth’s not flat

And that I shouldn’t be wearing a MAGA-Hat.

If others have swallowed similar crap without question

We need it campaigning on in the coming election.

Weighing up the candidates expected to be selected

I’m voting Trump again – he’ll put this right when he gets re-elected. 

I don’t know much but I do know that.

See, I’m not that much of a stupid twat!

Arthur Chappell

Poem – Fourteenth Of The Second  

Fourteenth Of The Second  

Valentine Heart, drawn by me

I get sent too many valentine greetings

So after emergency board meetings

The post Office refused to deliver any more

To me at any box number or my own front door

Post Box

In order that Postman Pat doesn’t put his back out this year

None of the expected romantic messages get to me here

No doubt you sent me love and kisses

Alas, the censor at the post office never misses

Pub sign – Beltane, Buxton. (May Day Romantics)

A chance to destroy any card bound my way

Though they are happy to send invoices and bills for me to pay.

There is one big brown envelope in my letter box I see

But I’m pretty sure the Inland Rev are not in love with me

This is not a lover’s Valentine

This is a court summons to pay a fine.

Roses are Red, violets are blue

Final reminder – your council tax is overdue

Flowers in Debdale Park, Manchester

Arthur Chappell

Review Of The 2nd Morecambe Poetry Festival 22nd To 24th September 2023 Part 2

Saturday  23rd September 2023No general walkabout today as the poetry activity was to start at 10 am, with a … walkabout event. The Word Walk, organized by The Big Shed Collective, was an informal gentle walk along the Flock Of Words trail, a footpath designed by artist Gordon Russ Coleman in 2003, stretching from the Prom, near The Station Pub’s Platform bar extension to what is laughably called Morecambe Bus Station even though it consists of a solitary bus shelter hut.  

The Flock Of Words Fanzine

The path is decorated in literary quotations relating to birds,  including  lines by festival guest, Roger McGough, and such worthies as Edward Lear, the Magpie verse, and even the Book Of Genesis extract in which Noah releases a Dove from the Ark.

The start of The Flock Of Words Trail

Poets on the walk were encouraged to fill provided notebooks with lines of verse we were inspired to pen by what we saw and our notes were to be transformed into a unique limited edition fanzine for sharing exclusively with the festival attendees. Despite the rain this was a great event.  Everyone was in fine spirit and members of the public took great interest, in one case even telling us of her own poetry writing.

Gerry Potter, Jackie Hagen and headliner, Roger McGough, (the latter then interviewed by Henry Normal.  More cabaret poetry followed at Johnnies as did another round of They Shoot Poets Don’t They, this time running for almost two hours, and my chance to read several of my poems (though overall I only read out twelve over the weekend as opposed to 22 the previous year).  I also got to read a poem at an open mic set organized by Brian Griffin, and my poem, Ode To John Cooper Clarke, was recorded for use in a radio show too. Cheers to Brian for that.

Ceiling – Winter Gardens

As the night went on, my health was taking a turn for the worse.  I was not drinking much as neither Johnnies or The Winter Gardens provided real ales (Morecambe itself has few decent real ale bars at present).  My stomach and stoma were beginning to turn over and I started worrying I might even end up throwing up, and did so just after getting back to my hotel, and for the night at least I felt better but that would change the next day.

Sunday  24th September 2023 Health Crisis

The final day started reasonably well for me though I barely touched the lovely guest house breakfast I had cheerfully polished off on the previous days. 

My stoma usually needs changing anything from once to three times a day.  AS it was coming off very soon after its morning change I took the bulk of my spares out with me. It was fortunate that I did, and ultimately still not enough.

The Festival Programme

The morning Symposium, in which we informally discussed our views on the current state of publishing and performance poetry opportunity, support and promotion was terrific.

My views;  Much of my performance is not on the established poetry scene but at general open mic pub and club events, where I am well received as a poet among the musicians and reach an audience not expecting poetry but invariably receive it well.  Much of my poetry is written for performing rather than the page. Commercially I do better with my short stories and non-fiction, especially my pub sign histories. 

On publishing, many mainstream publishers are not too geared up to promoting new poets), many poets self-publish and sell books at their readings. The public is still badly affected by how badly poetry appreciation is taught in schools.  Also, with a poetry collection of up to 30 poems costing the same as a 1,000 plus page novel, many will buy the novel as they get more to read from that.

The symposium was followed by a real treat, as festival organizer extra-ordinaire Matt Panesh provided a huge rolling buffet full Sunday lunch, but as my stoma changes were already engaging I had to skip this and watch everyone around me tucking in.

Several times, I had to slip away to the loos to change my stoma bags and by teatime, I had not just changed bags three times but 9. I had only one left, plus the two in reserve at the Sanderling. With great sadness I withdrew from the event and slipped away with a whole evening of activity still to go, including a set by former Poet Laureate Carol Anne Duffy (who I have seen before).  I did get my copy of the Flock Of Words Booklet just as I was leaving which was delightful.

Morecambe Bay

Back at the guest house feeling deeply depressed, I packed and retired to bed by 8pm.

Monday  25th September 2023 Home And Beyond

Again, I went easy on breakfast, only having any at all with needing the energy for my three bus homeward trip which went calmly enough. My stoma relaxed until I got home, where I fortunately had more bags to utilize. 

Tuesday morning I rang my GP, who told me to ring my stoma nurse who told me to re-ring my GP.  I called 111 who contacted my GP who agreed to see me and recommended I blast my stoma clean with a powerful prescribed laxative. I decided to save tis until after performing at The Ferret where I was asked at the last minute as another performer had let them down.  I figured as my stoma was relaxing (having largely starved it for 48 hours, I’d be fine, but it started firing up again and I had to slip away several times to change it. Apologies to Pete The Temp who had also been on in Morecambe.

Back home, I tried the laxative treatment which was decidedly messy.  A week later things were still uncomfortable and the sore throat that had been a factor from the start was now so intense I was struggling to breath so again I called my doctor, stoma team and 111, who put a specialist nurse onto me who recommended I go to the local A & E.  After 7 hours there I was seen and told, ‘It’s just a stomach infection. Go home and ride it out. Just take Strepsils and cough syrup for your throat. Bye Bye.

It is easing up now, at least the stoma is, but hardly feeling fully restored yet.  

Festival Thanks

Huge thanks to Matt Panesh, Maya Ozolina, Brian Bilston, all the performers and open mic’ers,  the staff of The Sanderling Hotel, The Winter Gardens volunteers, Johnnies staff and the various bars and eateries visited, etc.  

RIP – I learned soon after the event of the death (peacefully in his sleep) of poet Paul Blackburn, who had been in the Friday evening audience, though I never saw him there, and who was always supportive of my own work and a lovely chap to know.  He will be missed by all who ever met him.

All photos taken by me.

Arthur Chappell

Review Of The 2nd Morecambe Poetry Festival 22nd To 24th September 2023 Part One

Pre-Travel

After the amazingly good time I had at the 2022 Poetry Festival in Morecambe I signed up for the 2023 event as soon as the tickets went live and also booked in to The Sanderling Guest House as it was such a perfectly located place to get to and from the events from, being just a ten minute walk away from the main venues, The Winter Gardens and Johnnie’s Bar.

Morecambe Poetry Festival Event Admission Badge

My plan was to go a day before the festival and add to my already existing pub sign photo collection. I have a book out on this subject and a second one close to completion. I had only a few signs to still capture in Morecambe and Lancaster and planned to spring out from there to capture signs in other areas of Lancashire and Cumbria.

Sanderling Guest House, Morecambe

Weeks before the festival, disaster struck when my external hard drive containing thousands of my pub signs from over the UK, frazzled out. Several lovely people offered to help retrieve my data but couldn’t access it.  A third of my work, including Morecambe, Lancaster, Birmingham and London signs, seem gone forever.

I now had to recapture most of my Morecambe and Lancaster images from scratch.  

I packed, sorted out dozens of poems for possible readings and worked out a detailed pre-festival itinerary and prepared for my adventure.

The Day Before – Thursday 21st September 2023

              With Lancashire buses going for a bargain £2 a trip, I got to Lancaster on a relaxed two bus journey for just £4. Soon after arriving I found one of my shoes was splitting open so I popped in a city centre shoe shop and bought some new ones that seemed initially comfortable. I dumped my old pair in the nearest bin, put the new ones on and  but as the day went on they started to crunch my toes in painfully. 

I called in a few Lancaster bars, notably Ye Olde John Of Gaunt.   From Lancaster I got a bus over to Carnforth, the only completely fresh area I was to cover over the weekend as I really enjoy the old David Lean weepie, from 1945  Brief Encounter, largely filmed on Carnforth Station, especially in its tea rooms, which are wonderfully preserved as a museum as well as still serving the station.   

As it would be over an hour to the next bus from Carnforth to Morecambe I got the train to the seaside town, and still dragging my suitcase round on castors I took more photos up to 3pm when I could check in to The Sanderling. 

Check in went smoothly and I was soon out again chasing more photos of the lovely town, its street art and especially its pubs.  I got drinks in The Midland Hotel, where Laurence Olivier filmed The Entertainer, The Masons (which has some lovely rum characters to chat to), and Embargo, one I visited last year and where astonishingly, the barman remembered me from thar visit.   I rounded off the night with a curry in a Thai restaurant, Thai Black. 

Ye Olde John O’Gaunt pub sign, Lancaster

The pain from my new shoes was getting so intolerable I took them off and walked back to my guest house in my socks. I went to bed about midnight.

Friday 22nd September 2023

I got my first full English breakfast at The Sanderling on the Friday morning, and headed out to catch the last handful of Morecambe pub signs on my list (I use Pubs Galore listings as a checklist on visiting any area). I then headed into Lancaster again to get more signs there. I also bought more new shoes, this time in a charity shop and these were comfy enough.  (I still have the toe crushers too).  The weather went pants so I called in a randomly picked pub, The Royal Hotel, which was great and all the more so when on chatting to the barman about writing books on pub signs I got him intrigued enough to buy a copy of one of them off me, my only direct sale of the weekend.

My book, Watch The Signs! Watch The Signs!

I got back to Morecambe about an hour before the festival launch and found many were already in Johnnies so I headed in. I found these were not so much early attendees but volunteers helping prepare stuff for the opening and just as I was about to slip away to return later I found myself helping fold hundreds of programme flyers and got my attendance badge which showed I had paid to be involved in the whole show.

I also got a copy of the festival poetry anthology which I happen to have a set of Haiku in.

The Morecambe Poetry Festival Anthology Volume One

And what a show it was, from Matt Panesh’s opening welcome through a stunning talk on the history of spoken word poetry around the World presented by Pete The Temp, to readings by Atilla The Stockbroker and at the magnificent Winter Gardens there were sets by Brian Bilson and Henry Normal.

A late highlight was the jaw dropping comedy and verse set by Thick Richard, accompanied by a state of the art robot (not really just another poet dressed as one, honest). 

Morecambe Bay

This was followed by the first of the weekend’s They Shoot Poets Don’t They poetry round robins, with a generous cas prize for the poet performing when the bar called time.  I won twice in 2022 though other poets won this year.  It was still a great reading opportunity and my contributions were well received by the audience.

Night over, I returned to The Sanderling about 2.30 am.

Links

My Brief Encounter Review https://www.mylot.com/post/3570693/film-review-brief-encounter 

Brief Encounter – The full film on Youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LguRis_h1qc 

All photos taken by me.

Arthur Chappell